Sunt lacrimae rerum
There are tears at the heart of things in these times when everything seems tinged with sorrow.
For me some of the saddest stories are those of lonely deaths. A little boy dying in hospital with mum and dad not able to be there to comfort him in his last hours. The elderly and vulnerable passing away in care homes distanced in every way from their families. A married couple, he with a terminal illness, making the decision that, should either contract Covid 19, they would not be separated but face death together.
It is also heartrending to think about families faced with not only having to organize a funeral but to have to make a choice about who can attend. As a society we no longer ritualize death in the ways that our predecessors did and in many respects a funeral is the only opportunity for family and friends to collectively mourn the passing of a loved one.
My mum died suddenly in September of last year. The days, weeks and months since have, for me, passed with the discomfort of having blurred inner vision. I find myself having to gaze intently, both inwardly and outwardly, at almost everything. Nothing about this new life without mum seems to be the right shape. The details of this new life don’t always make sense.
However, I never thought that I would look back on mum’s death and think how lucky we were; myself, my dad, my brother, my husband and my son but lucky we were.
We were lucky that, the week before she died, Mum was able to go on a pilgrimage to the Shrine of our Lady of Walsingham which was,
I think, her favourite place on earth.
We were lucky that she died so suddenly and peacefully with my brother at her side.
We were lucky that we had a last two precious hours to spend with mum after her passing.
We were lucky that we were able to hold a service of thanksgiving for her life at the church she had attended all her life.
We were lucky that so many of her friends and family were at the funeral and that her cousin was able to serve on the altar at her funeral mass.
For anyone who has lost a loved one during the time of Corona virus there are, indeed, tears at the heart of things.
